Through my eyes...

Can someone please tell me this....

2010-04-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

How do I find more time in the day? I feel like I have something to do every waking minute of my life. While I love my life, I would really like some extra time to get things done. I feel like I can never dig myself out of the hole of things I need to do. The last few weeks have been particularly busy with vacations and school and baseball. One week we had something to do for every single night for a week straight. We had no time to even sit down for dinner as a family. As soon as school is over I will be working and I do not think things will slow down then. I am trying to get myself to just be okay with never having EVERYTHING done at one time. I guess it is a journey, right...not just a destination?!?!

I typed this up really quickly as my handouts for my project tonight are printing...and now they are done, so, time to move on :)

Nervous mommy!

2010-03-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

So, I took Carter to the third Dr. today to find out what this weird growth is on his head. Again, he had never seen anything quite like it. In fact, his reponse was, "interesting." I really wanted to walk in there and hear, "Oh, yeah, we see this all the time, it's nothing to worry about." He did say he did not think it was anything to worry about, but wants to remove it just to be sure. So, the surgery may be as early as tomorrow...I know I am going to be super nervous when I take him in to be put under anesthesia!

On a positive not, I once again got compliments about how well behaved my kids were at Kaiser today. A couple of weeks ago I took Kenzi to get her thumb x-rayed and ended up sitting in Radiology for about 45 minutes. The kids were so amazing and well behaved. I got a few compliments that day too. As a parent, I think that is one of the best compliments I can get. It makes me so proud when they are polite and follow directions! I think there are a lot of parents out there now-a-days with out-of-control kids that people are so amazed when my kids are so well behaved! Believe me, they are not always angels, they are just really good at making people think so :)

So tomorrow I may take one of my well behaved little angels into surgery...wish me luck!

Sick day

2010-03-10T15:42:00.000-08:00

Carter stayed home from school sick today. That means I have been in my jammies all day doing odds and ends. Let me tell you, you can add as many odds as you want together, they never make a whole! I always think I will get a ton of stuff done on days like these, but, I end up doing a whole lot of nothing. Not one thing gets all the way accomplished. As I have mentioned previously, I think I have adult ADD, the inability to focus on one task. Today I: started a load of laundry, started organizing pictures for my scrapbooking marathon on Saturday, did the dishes (of course this is NEVER all the way done), did a pilates DVD (actually finished this task, but barely made it as the baby woke up right at the end), made the jello to make jello jigglers for the kids, started to put away the laundry that has been sitting in a basket in our room all week (I have started this many times this week), started reading with Carter to finish his reading log (just a couple more chapters and we are there), started my final project for the class I am in this session, started looking at recipes for next weeks St. Patrick's Day dinner... I started a lot today! I think the point is, I will never be finished with anything. Life is a journey, not a destination, right?!?! I would like to finish things once and awhile though...

What a difference a day makes

2010-03-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

As beautiful as it was yesterday, it is that cold and gloomy today. This weather is mother nature's reminder to all of us that life can change daily. You never know what tomorrow will hold, so live today with joy and love! I know, cliche, but oh so true...

I love running! I actually crave it, I think I am obsessed. This morning, as most mornings are, was stressful. Getting all three kids fed, dressed and out the door seems like a monumental task, one I must conquer every single day! After finally getting Carter off to school and driving to the gym, I could not wait to get on the treadmill and run as fast as I could. Now, I feel so relaxed and my mind so much clearer. I wish I could take back the mean, stressed out mom I was this morning and replace her with the post-run, calm, collected mom. Maybe tomorrow morning I can remember the post-run clarity and get through the morning a little less stressed!

What a beautiful day!

2010-03-07T16:29:00.000-08:00

I am sitting outside watching my three little angels play in the backyard. I love it when the three of them can play together without screaming and fighting. Why does it take the sun to make my kids be civil to one another? The weather really does make me a happier person, so I guess I see where they are coming from.

Carter started little league practices this weekend. He is on the Angels (notice the hat in the picture). I think this is a very fitting name for my little guys baseball team as he is my little Angel (at least about 30% of the time). Nate is the coach which makes it extra fun to watch. What a great weekend, baseball and sun...spring is indeed in the air!

I have two vegetarian recipes picked out to try this week, stay tuned for reviews!

Healthy(ish) meal #1

2010-03-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

So, I have made this before, but it is so good I am using it as the first healthy(ish) recipe I am writing about. I made these Asian Lettuce Wraps from Allrecipes.com. I love that site. Whenever I am in the mood to try something I log on and find a great recipe. My husband is gluten intolerant so this is a good meal for him. First of all, I used ground turkey instead of beef to cut some fat. I also added a packet of frozen organic brown rice from Trader Joe's to make the meal a little more hearty. They were delicious. The kids even loved them!

Laundry

2010-02-28T07:45:00.000-08:00

This morning in bed I was contemplating the enormous task looming over my head for today...laundry! It's not like I have not done plenty of laundry this week, it's a constant battle. I broke done the process into these 10 simple steps:

1. Gather laundry (includes gym clothes, work clothes, play clothes, pajamas, underwear, socks, towels, wash clothes, etc...from 5 people) from all three bedrooms.
2. Sort on my bathroom floor.
3. Lug one basket at a time down the stairs (praises to home builders who went the extra mile to put the laundry upstairs...ours apparently didn't think of this!).
4. Start the washer, add soap and dirty laundry.
5. 45 minutes later, take the clothes out of the washer and put in the dryer.
6. Another 45 minutes later take the clothes out of the dryer and take to the couch to fold.
7. Fold all clothes, towels, sort socks (carefully deciding which ones belong to whom), set aside clothes to hang in all three different closets.
8. Place clean clothes back in the laundry basket and lug back up the stairs (why oh why is our washer and dryer not upstairs?).
9. Sort and put away everything in all three bedrooms.
10. Hang all hanging clothes in appropriate closets.
*Repeat above 10 steps about 10 times per week.

When you looking at laundry as the daunting task that it really is, you can appreciate why most women have precious little free time to do anything else, like cooking, cleaning bathrooms, dressing, undressing, feeding, bathing and hopefully occasionally loving their children!

This is why we need to take a step back and focus on the specific task at hand. Life should be lived taking baby steps. Right now I am just thinking about going upstairs and collecting one load of dark clothes. If I thought about the 9 other steps involved in that job I would probably just give up right now! Just don't forget to make time for the really important steps, like snuggling your kids on your lap and reading them a book. This step often gets lost in the constant footrace of life! Take each step in your race carefully and with love.

The Art of Healthy(ish) cooking

2010-02-25T07:57:00.001-08:00

I recently watched "Julie and Julia" for the first time. I think the idea of committing to cook my way through an entire cookbook and blog about it sounds fabulous. I just have three things holding me back from making that commitment. Their names are Carter, Maddi, and Kenzi! Like Julie in the movie, I am also approaching my 30th birthday (I still have 10 months and 2 days!). This movie prompted me to think of something meaningful I can commit to that will help me bring in a new decade in style.

I have done 3 half marathons now and would love to commit to a full before my 30th birthday. 26.2 miles sounds like a great way to prove to myself that 30 is not so old! Thats the first goal I have to accomplish in the next 10 months.

I really like the idea of trying new recipes in the kitchen, however, I do not want to gain 10 pounds before the big birthday comes. I work too hard training for marathons to eat a pound of butter a day (like Julie in the movie seemed to)! So, my goal is to experiment with more healthy cooking. I have thought about going vegetarian, cutting out all sweets, lowering my carbs, blah, blah, blah. But, when it comes down to it, I do not have the will power to make changes that are too drastic. Nor do I have the time or money to travel to specialty grocery stores to buy a bunch of crazy ingredients. Trader Joes is my idea of specialty. So, I am setting a reasonable goal: try one new healthy recipe each week for the rest of the year. I will try to post the recipes and results...that may be slightly harder to accomplish than actually cooking them! I will call it, The Art of Healthy(ish) Cooking! Goal # 2 set!

Goal # 3 is to stick with the goals I have set. This is something I am still learning how to do. I am very ADD. I love to try new things and start new projects, but I loose interest easily unless I am being held accountable by someone. I am NOT good at being my own boss. Maybe I will be enlightened in my 30's??

What I am too chicken to say on Facebook!

2010-02-24T14:09:00.000-08:00

I need somewhere to vent my frustration with people without actually attacking them directly. I like having friends…even if they have very different political opinions than my own. One of my friends posted on facebook how she was upset because her son said President Obama was his idol. The comments that followed talk about the demacrats and their “economic redistribution.” One poster wrote:

“Drive him to the North Highlands and tell him that this is where the current administration will give all of Mommy and Daddy's money, then we will have to live here to. Then make him get out of the car and pretend to drive away. That oughta do it.”

This is the response I was too chicken to give:

"I think taking your kids to North Highlands to see were all of your money is going is a great idea. Those human beings live a pretty cush life with their shiney public schools and well maintained streets and beautiful public parks! Then, you can take them to their new, state-of-the art public school in EDH and explain to them that the money to fund their school (and brand new local public park and perfectly maintained streets) just falls from thin air. Besides, they deserve it more than those kids in North Highlands anyway!"

I am not claiming that Barack Obama has been our savior (at least not yet, some of us still have a little hope!). I do not even claim to follow it (politics) all very closely. To tell you the truth the whole situation with the constant fighting between parties just frustrates me. I have too many other things in my life to worry about (like the three year old who just woke up from nap and is4 crying on my lap!). Someday I hope I can take action on all of my very strong political opinions and not be too chicken to state what I believe.

Time flys when you're....

2009-08-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

I just happened to open this up tonight and noticed my "Let's try this again" post was two years ago. I can not believe it has been that long. I know it is a cliche, but time really does just fly by! Wow how much things can change in two years too! I have one more child, beautiful MacKenzie. My oldest baby is in the first grade and the angel that was my baby two years ago will be turning 3 in a week. One thing that has remained the same...life is good in suburbia!

I love my life, I feel so blessed. I have a wonderful husband, three amazingly beautiful children, a great house, a fun, loyal family and some really great friends. I often wonder how I got so lucky and how long thing can go on being perfect.

I think so much of how we feel about our lives is in our perception of ourselves and our life. I am such a believer in the kind of energy you give off into the world is the kind of energy you recieve back. When my husband was laid off in January, just a month after our third child was born, I didn't really panic. I knew things would work out; even if we lost our house and everything in it. There were so many things to be thankful for and focus on, I felt like why focus on the bad? I think that mentality really helped pull us through. Nate got a job and we are still in our house having learned a valuable lesson. Positive energy!

Maybe I will start writing on this blog again, it is a fun outlet. So, if anyone happens to read this, I may or may not be back :)

Let's try this again

2007-08-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

I started this blog with great intentions. I wanted to write everyday, even if it was just for my own viewing. But, after five posts life caught up with me and I stopped making writing a priority. So, I am going to give it another try!

My baby girl is turning one next Monday. I can't believe how fast a year has gone by. She is of course the cutest baby on the face of the planet (sorry all you other moms out there!). She decided yesterday that she would rather walk than crawl. I love how even at one year old girls do what they want on their own time. She has been taking steps for over a month now, but I couldn't get her to just walk. I guess she decided it's time!

Carter has started playing soccer. By the way, I live in stereotypical suburbia! Soccer is just what people do here. In a town of 60,000 people, 3300 kids play soccer. That is 5% of the entire population! There are about 40 teams of kids under 5. All of the moms on Carter's team lead the same exact life as myself. We all stay home, work out at the same gym, shop at Costco and Target, send our kids to the Parks and Rec's preschool, and drive minivans! It is scary how much I feel like a stepford wife. I totally make fun of it, but I love it. It really is living the American Dream. House, family... soccer.

Folsom is where you want to live if you want to have kids. There are kids everywhere, not to mention pregnant women. There are endless activities for kids. We have and awesome new library, a zoo with train, tons of parks (some with water features), great schools, and of course...soccer! My new mom friend from the soccer team and I were joking about how we NEVER leave Folsom. We have everything we need right here (including a state prison!), its great!

One of the best parts of being a stay-at-home-mom is the friends I have made. It seems like we are all in this together. We have each other to bitch to when the kids are out of control or the husband it annoying us. We work out together, shop together, take the kids to the park together. I really cherish these friendships and hope they last beyond our kids growing up.

Well, I did a lot of chatting today with nothing very interesting to say....

Who would you give your heart to?

2007-05-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

I spent the weekend at my churches regional meeting in Asilomar, just south of Monterey. It is so beautiful there on the northern coast of California. During one of the first worship services we were all given a small glass heart to carry for the weekend. At the last service we were told to give these hearts to someone who we feel needs the love of God in their heart. It could be a family member, friend, or someone off the street. Who would you give your heart to?

I tried to think of who I would offer my heart to. Should I wait to come accross a stranger who seems sad or angry or should I share it with someone in my life who needs to know they are loved? Everyone in this world today can be shown a little more love, how can I choose one person to share my heart with?

I think what I am going to do is keep my heart! I will carry it in my pocket as a reminder to share Gods love with everyone I come accross. I can not think of one person who needs to be shown that love more than the rest of us. We all need to feel Gods love and eachothers love. I will share a piece of my heart with everyone.

I challenge everyone to do the same. Choose a symbol of love to carry in your pocket. Let that symbol remind you that everyone you come accross in life deserve to witness Gods love work through you. We all want to be that person. Someone who makes people feel good when we are around. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes we are the ones who need to see Gods love in someone else. When we feel that need, we can reach into our pocket and take a little of Gods love for ourselves. We all deserve to know it!

How much should we shelter our children?

2007-04-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

After reading a friends blog about monitering our childrens television to avoid violent content, I got to thinking about how much we should expose our children to. Should we only allow them to watch television about giant yellow birds that talk and purple dinosaurs that sing about love? Is that the world we live in today? Should we shelter them from the violence we find in most Disney movies? Are these movies not more realistic than giant purple dinosaurs? Where, and at what age do we set limits?

I am of the belief that a certain amount of exposure to sex and violence is healthy for children growing up in our world today. I'm talking about The Incredibles, The Little Mermaid and Toy Story, not adult movies. I don't particularly like it, but it is reality. Our society is violent and puts entirely too much emphasis on sex. That said, I believe it is a parents job (not TV shows) to teach their children that this is the way the world works, but not the way we as individuals should act. We should teach our children to be loving, kind people who can overcome adversity. There are much better mediums for teaching these life lessons than television.

Exposing our children to these forms of entertainment ease our children into the realities of the world they will live in as adults. If we teach our children that sweet purple dinosaurs are the way of the world, they will grow up to be adults that expect people to be loving and kind all the time. Turn on the news any night of the week and you will find this is not the way our world works. I want to teach my child to watch out for people like the gunman from Virginia Tech. Dont let your guard down and expect people to be good and kind to you all the time. Of course, the kids in those classes at Virginia Tech had no idea someone would come into their class shooting. We can't live our entire life expecting the worst from people, just be prepared for it.

Even if we shelter our children from violence on television, they will still have violent tendencies. I believe violent behavior is natural for human beings. There was a time when we could not go to the grocery store and purchase our food. We had to kill it. Most of us don't do that anymore, but those natural behaviors are still in us. Children, especially boys, need a way to expend that energy. Our job is not to teach them that they are wrong, but to teach them constructive ways to expend their violent energy. Shooting at people and pretending to kill one another is obvious not heathly behavior. But Peter Pan sword fights, they are just little boys having fun and using their imaginations.

Before I had a boy, my beliefs were quite different. I vowed my boy would never have a gun or be allowed to play fight. Well, when you have a boy you understand their innocent need to play this way. I still will not allow my son to have a realistic gun, but a squirt gun or one that shoots nerf balls, are they really that harmful? I encourage sports, bikes and scooters as a constructive way to burn off his endless energy. He loves movies like the Incredibles, Toy Story, Tarzan, Monsters Inc., and Peter Pan, all of which have a "bad guy" and quite a bit of violence. I really feel like he understands that these are movies and not real life. He may have a Peter Pan sword fight, but he doesnt really think he can be Peter Pan, or want to hurt people. I teach him to love and respect others. I teach him this through my conversations with him and my actions toward other people.

This past Easter I struggled with how to explain the true meaning of Easter to my son. I did not want to tell him that Jesus was hung on a cross and left to die. This story is much more violent and hard to comprehend than any Disney movie... And this is real life! When will he be ready for this story? There are many history lessons he will learn as he grows up that will be hard to comprehend. The Holocaust was real! September 11th was real! These are the stories I worry about explaining to my kids, not why Captain Hook and Peter Pan love a good sword fight. Real life is scary. Why not ease our children into real life with some fun, entertaining Disney movies?!?!

Why am I thankful today?

2007-04-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

I am thankful that I woke up this morning and snuggled in bed with my two beautiful kids. There is a mother who woke up without her child this morning. In the town I grew up in (just a few miles from where I live now) a six month old baby lost his battle with leukemia yesterday morning. I can not imagine this mothers realization when she woke up this morning. She will never see her baby again. I thought about her as I lay with my children, smothering them with kisses. How can one comprehend the loss of their child?

This story touches me deeply. Not only do I have an 8 month old baby, I lost a sister to cancer when she was only six months old. Why does this happen to pure, innocent babies? How can their time be up when their life has barely begun? We, as humans, will never have answers to these questions. And, somehow, we as humans are able to go on. As a mother, I cant imagine how. I know I will pray for this mother as she tries to cope with the loss of her sweet baby.

Hearing stories like this puts life into perspective for all of us. What really matters in your life? We have heard it said time and again. The dishes will wait, we can live in a messy house, but time with our children goes by so fast. How can we all live by this philosophy when everything in our lives seems so pressing? Every time I feel stressed about getting things done around the house, I wish someone would whisper in my ear, "Stop, go love your babies!" Next time you feel stressed about the small stuff, I hope this blog whispers in your ear!

Who am I?

2007-04-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

I often wonder who I appear to be to others. Am I nice, outgoing, annoying, smart, funny? I try to be myself, but wonder, who am I? I feel like I need to realize this before I can become the person I truly want to be. This is what I know: I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. I take all of these roles seriously, and want to be the best I can be.

As a mother, I know I love my kids beyond comprehension! Above all else, I want to get this one right. I try to stay engaged all the time and provide my kids stimulation and love. I feel like I succeed at this often, but have a lot of room to improve. I have a temper. I tend to explode at my four year old when he is driving me bonkers. I have an issue with using bad language not only in front of him, but directed at him. I sometimes put him in front of the TV so I can get things done (this is what he is doing currently!). Being a mom is my most important job and the one I take the most pride in.

As a wife, I know I have an amazing husband. He is always helpful and supportive and allows me my space. I think I am a good wife. I try to be supportive and let him have his space. I know I could spend more energy on this relationship. I think I spend so much of my energy on my kids and the left overs on myself, and I neglect this relationship. I think most moms would agree that their marriage gets put on the back burner. There are just not enough hours in the day!

As a daughter and a sister I try to be loving and supportive. I have a great family. With two younger sisters, I find myself playing mother to them as well as my own kids. I also want to think I am a good friend. I feel like the caregiver for my entire family. We gather at my house for holidays and other celebrations. I cook for everyone. I feel like this is my place and defines who I am.

As a friend I try to be caring and understanding. I am there to listen to problems and offer support. I also think I am fun. I feel very fortunate to have so many great friends. I am a people pleaser and want to make a new friend wherever I go. I count on my friends for support just as I hope to be a support to them. Though I feel I am a good friend, I find myself talking smack about one girlfriend to another. Why do women always feel the need to talk about the negative when they get together. I am not proud of this, but it is the way I am.

So, this is how I see myself. I am a caring compassionate person. I have a bad temper and love gossiping about other people (I am a woman). I want to be so many things and always feel like I fall short! I expect too much out of myself and then feel disappointed when I cant live up to my expectations. This is who I am!

Day One

2007-04-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

Seeing a friends new Blog inspired me to start one of my own. I have always wanted to write, but never thought I had anything that interestingt to say. Then I decided, everyone has a story to tell. Something to share with others. Some may not find my thoughts particularly interesting. Others may learn something from my seemingly ordinary life as a mama!

So, let me introduce myself. I am a stay-at-home mom of two, an almost 4 year old boy, Carter and an 8 month old girl, Madison. I live in a beautiful suburban city of about 60,000 people in Northern California. I have been married for almost 6 years. I drive a minivan and have a pool. Completely ordinary, right?

What I am on a quest for in this blog is to find what makes me extraordinary. I believe each person is extraordinary in their own way, most of us just don't recognize it in ourselves. As a mom who doesnt have a whole lot of time to think about herself, my goal is to take a few minutes to sit down everyday and try to discover something about myself. I hope people who read this use it as a tool to do the same. I will ask myself a question everyday and try to answer it. I would like all who come to read my blog to ask themselves the same question. Feel free to ask me a question and I will try to answer it in one of my blogs.

Enjoy!