How much should we shelter our children?

After reading a friends blog about monitering our childrens television to avoid violent content, I got to thinking about how much we should expose our children to. Should we only allow them to watch television about giant yellow birds that talk and purple dinosaurs that sing about love? Is that the world we live in today? Should we shelter them from the violence we find in most Disney movies? Are these movies not more realistic than giant purple dinosaurs? Where, and at what age do we set limits?

I am of the belief that a certain amount of exposure to sex and violence is healthy for children growing up in our world today. I'm talking about The Incredibles, The Little Mermaid and Toy Story, not adult movies. I don't particularly like it, but it is reality. Our society is violent and puts entirely too much emphasis on sex. That said, I believe it is a parents job (not TV shows) to teach their children that this is the way the world works, but not the way we as individuals should act. We should teach our children to be loving, kind people who can overcome adversity. There are much better mediums for teaching these life lessons than television.

Exposing our children to these forms of entertainment ease our children into the realities of the world they will live in as adults. If we teach our children that sweet purple dinosaurs are the way of the world, they will grow up to be adults that expect people to be loving and kind all the time. Turn on the news any night of the week and you will find this is not the way our world works. I want to teach my child to watch out for people like the gunman from Virginia Tech. Dont let your guard down and expect people to be good and kind to you all the time. Of course, the kids in those classes at Virginia Tech had no idea someone would come into their class shooting. We can't live our entire life expecting the worst from people, just be prepared for it.

Even if we shelter our children from violence on television, they will still have violent tendencies. I believe violent behavior is natural for human beings. There was a time when we could not go to the grocery store and purchase our food. We had to kill it. Most of us don't do that anymore, but those natural behaviors are still in us. Children, especially boys, need a way to expend that energy. Our job is not to teach them that they are wrong, but to teach them constructive ways to expend their violent energy. Shooting at people and pretending to kill one another is obvious not heathly behavior. But Peter Pan sword fights, they are just little boys having fun and using their imaginations.

Before I had a boy, my beliefs were quite different. I vowed my boy would never have a gun or be allowed to play fight. Well, when you have a boy you understand their innocent need to play this way. I still will not allow my son to have a realistic gun, but a squirt gun or one that shoots nerf balls, are they really that harmful? I encourage sports, bikes and scooters as a constructive way to burn off his endless energy. He loves movies like the Incredibles, Toy Story, Tarzan, Monsters Inc., and Peter Pan, all of which have a "bad guy" and quite a bit of violence. I really feel like he understands that these are movies and not real life. He may have a Peter Pan sword fight, but he doesnt really think he can be Peter Pan, or want to hurt people. I teach him to love and respect others. I teach him this through my conversations with him and my actions toward other people.

This past Easter I struggled with how to explain the true meaning of Easter to my son. I did not want to tell him that Jesus was hung on a cross and left to die. This story is much more violent and hard to comprehend than any Disney movie... And this is real life! When will he be ready for this story? There are many history lessons he will learn as he grows up that will be hard to comprehend. The Holocaust was real! September 11th was real! These are the stories I worry about explaining to my kids, not why Captain Hook and Peter Pan love a good sword fight. Real life is scary. Why not ease our children into real life with some fun, entertaining Disney movies?!?!

Why am I thankful today?

I am thankful that I woke up this morning and snuggled in bed with my two beautiful kids. There is a mother who woke up without her child this morning. In the town I grew up in (just a few miles from where I live now) a six month old baby lost his battle with leukemia yesterday morning. I can not imagine this mothers realization when she woke up this morning. She will never see her baby again. I thought about her as I lay with my children, smothering them with kisses. How can one comprehend the loss of their child?

This story touches me deeply. Not only do I have an 8 month old baby, I lost a sister to cancer when she was only six months old. Why does this happen to pure, innocent babies? How can their time be up when their life has barely begun? We, as humans, will never have answers to these questions. And, somehow, we as humans are able to go on. As a mother, I cant imagine how. I know I will pray for this mother as she tries to cope with the loss of her sweet baby.

Hearing stories like this puts life into perspective for all of us. What really matters in your life? We have heard it said time and again. The dishes will wait, we can live in a messy house, but time with our children goes by so fast. How can we all live by this philosophy when everything in our lives seems so pressing? Every time I feel stressed about getting things done around the house, I wish someone would whisper in my ear, "Stop, go love your babies!" Next time you feel stressed about the small stuff, I hope this blog whispers in your ear!

Who am I?

I often wonder who I appear to be to others. Am I nice, outgoing, annoying, smart, funny? I try to be myself, but wonder, who am I? I feel like I need to realize this before I can become the person I truly want to be. This is what I know: I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. I take all of these roles seriously, and want to be the best I can be.

As a mother, I know I love my kids beyond comprehension! Above all else, I want to get this one right. I try to stay engaged all the time and provide my kids stimulation and love. I feel like I succeed at this often, but have a lot of room to improve. I have a temper. I tend to explode at my four year old when he is driving me bonkers. I have an issue with using bad language not only in front of him, but directed at him. I sometimes put him in front of the TV so I can get things done (this is what he is doing currently!). Being a mom is my most important job and the one I take the most pride in.

As a wife, I know I have an amazing husband. He is always helpful and supportive and allows me my space. I think I am a good wife. I try to be supportive and let him have his space. I know I could spend more energy on this relationship. I think I spend so much of my energy on my kids and the left overs on myself, and I neglect this relationship. I think most moms would agree that their marriage gets put on the back burner. There are just not enough hours in the day!

As a daughter and a sister I try to be loving and supportive. I have a great family. With two younger sisters, I find myself playing mother to them as well as my own kids. I also want to think I am a good friend. I feel like the caregiver for my entire family. We gather at my house for holidays and other celebrations. I cook for everyone. I feel like this is my place and defines who I am.

As a friend I try to be caring and understanding. I am there to listen to problems and offer support. I also think I am fun. I feel very fortunate to have so many great friends. I am a people pleaser and want to make a new friend wherever I go. I count on my friends for support just as I hope to be a support to them. Though I feel I am a good friend, I find myself talking smack about one girlfriend to another. Why do women always feel the need to talk about the negative when they get together. I am not proud of this, but it is the way I am.

So, this is how I see myself. I am a caring compassionate person. I have a bad temper and love gossiping about other people (I am a woman). I want to be so many things and always feel like I fall short! I expect too much out of myself and then feel disappointed when I cant live up to my expectations. This is who I am!

Day One

Seeing a friends new Blog inspired me to start one of my own. I have always wanted to write, but never thought I had anything that interestingt to say. Then I decided, everyone has a story to tell. Something to share with others. Some may not find my thoughts particularly interesting. Others may learn something from my seemingly ordinary life as a mama!

So, let me introduce myself. I am a stay-at-home mom of two, an almost 4 year old boy, Carter and an 8 month old girl, Madison. I live in a beautiful suburban city of about 60,000 people in Northern California. I have been married for almost 6 years. I drive a minivan and have a pool. Completely ordinary, right?

What I am on a quest for in this blog is to find what makes me extraordinary. I believe each person is extraordinary in their own way, most of us just don't recognize it in ourselves. As a mom who doesnt have a whole lot of time to think about herself, my goal is to take a few minutes to sit down everyday and try to discover something about myself. I hope people who read this use it as a tool to do the same. I will ask myself a question everyday and try to answer it. I would like all who come to read my blog to ask themselves the same question. Feel free to ask me a question and I will try to answer it in one of my blogs.

Enjoy!