Who am I?

I often wonder who I appear to be to others. Am I nice, outgoing, annoying, smart, funny? I try to be myself, but wonder, who am I? I feel like I need to realize this before I can become the person I truly want to be. This is what I know: I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. I take all of these roles seriously, and want to be the best I can be.

As a mother, I know I love my kids beyond comprehension! Above all else, I want to get this one right. I try to stay engaged all the time and provide my kids stimulation and love. I feel like I succeed at this often, but have a lot of room to improve. I have a temper. I tend to explode at my four year old when he is driving me bonkers. I have an issue with using bad language not only in front of him, but directed at him. I sometimes put him in front of the TV so I can get things done (this is what he is doing currently!). Being a mom is my most important job and the one I take the most pride in.

As a wife, I know I have an amazing husband. He is always helpful and supportive and allows me my space. I think I am a good wife. I try to be supportive and let him have his space. I know I could spend more energy on this relationship. I think I spend so much of my energy on my kids and the left overs on myself, and I neglect this relationship. I think most moms would agree that their marriage gets put on the back burner. There are just not enough hours in the day!

As a daughter and a sister I try to be loving and supportive. I have a great family. With two younger sisters, I find myself playing mother to them as well as my own kids. I also want to think I am a good friend. I feel like the caregiver for my entire family. We gather at my house for holidays and other celebrations. I cook for everyone. I feel like this is my place and defines who I am.

As a friend I try to be caring and understanding. I am there to listen to problems and offer support. I also think I am fun. I feel very fortunate to have so many great friends. I am a people pleaser and want to make a new friend wherever I go. I count on my friends for support just as I hope to be a support to them. Though I feel I am a good friend, I find myself talking smack about one girlfriend to another. Why do women always feel the need to talk about the negative when they get together. I am not proud of this, but it is the way I am.

So, this is how I see myself. I am a caring compassionate person. I have a bad temper and love gossiping about other people (I am a woman). I want to be so many things and always feel like I fall short! I expect too much out of myself and then feel disappointed when I cant live up to my expectations. This is who I am!